This is some prose I wrote the night before my 15th birthday; pretty full of teen angst, but thought it might be a fun blast from the past to celebrate my birthday today! I won’t tell you exactly how old I am, but this poem dates from 8 years ago…
Tonight is my last night of being fourteen – forever.
Tonight is my last night of being fourteen. I don’t feel that much older, but fifteen sounds too old. It just makes me aware that time is flowing by like a river and I cannot reclaim it. It’s gone – forever.
Soon I’ll be twenty, and then it’s not far till thirty or even the big four-o. My life is flowing through my hands like water; I have to enjoy each sparkle, laugh at every ripple, and treasure every drop.
I’m not usually this pensive or melancholy, birthdays bring it out in me. The numbers make me realise another year has gone; a year of good time and bad times, a year of struggle and upheaval and settling down again. Life goes so fast, too fast; you wish it might last longer, but the thought of eternity makes me awed.
Living forever – the thought kind of scares me. Sometimes just finishing in peace and sleeping one last time seems better. Indeed, spending eternity on this earth would be a burden, seeing all the evilness and brokenness forever. But spending eternity with my Maker in a perfect earth will be wonderful beyond the limits of imagination. My finite mind cannot grasp infinity, I am bounded by time. But I am convinced, that bursting the boundaries of time and letting my spirit soar will be scary and yet the most wonderful thing ever.